often at once

i have known both emptiness and fullness… often at once

~csr

A Notion

I am struck by a long-held notion that if I could just find the right words or create the perfect melody, I could somehow change everything… everyone. That we could drop the need for pretense and simply create a safe space for one another. That would be paradise.

~csr

true freedom

to be free

 of needing approval,

   when not accepted,

     is a wonderful sort of freedom.

 to be free

  of needing approval ,

   while accepted,

is closer to true freedom.

~csr

Steal The Now

i will hide in this story

i will live in this tale

reside in the wind

but not in this sail

live in this moment

live in this dream

live for a moment

seem

live in the wind

not in the sail

the end

must not steal the now

~csr

We Break Down

leaves fall... they break down

from the decay comes new life...

we fall... we break down

~csr

subjective realities

 empathy is how one subjective reality learns to connect with other subjective realities.  

~csr

Embracing the Present

As I age, I've come to realize that mortality is increasingly present. Physical changes and health issues have become more pronounced, making me aware that life's milestones are largely behind me.

I've started to notice 'last times' – final experiences that mark the end of an era. Initially scarce, these moments now accelerate. On a deeper level, I'm grappling with the anticipation of loss – mourning life's passing while still immersed in it.

This paradox is profound: I'm longing for life's moments while simultaneously mourning their passage, when I should be embracing the present.

~csr

move on

if you feel tension from 

  where does it come?

if there is resistance 

  then where is it from?

don’t seek to engage it

it’s not best that you run

but rather acknowledge, 

  continue, 

  move on

~csr

defining

morning light waves

rose of sharon sways

blending with subtle circular motions

a branch of botanical aikido

in the distance…

a chainsaw, cutting, defining

~csr

a soothing fusion

late-summer morning 

insects with tinnitus sing

a soothing fusion

~csr

profound

i see words' pull

its snag on past 

i feel its tug 

 like thick molass

in contrast, 

 there's the flow, 

  you see

 it's current, 

  yes and yes

 it's present, 

  indistinguishable

 and yet 

  profound

~csr

where are my words?

some sleeping

some slumber

while others they travel

some roaming

some searching

while others they swim

some swirl

some eddy

while circling downward

some laughing

some joking

they cackle they jest

some steeping

some brewing

they darken with flavor

where are my words?

~csr

another duration

another duration…

   gray and withering.

where once passion’s insolence sprang!

   so late in season! ...

      if only to crave.

another turning…

   over again inside.

where now dense roots

  mingled throughout sinew and bone

    inflict me once more.

unaccompanied…

   conjuring fragrant fanatical flowers!

    irrational bouquets!

     in rumination.

see..

   how they sway in ardent breezes...

   how they dance to rhythms of raindrops... ... ...

   another duration.

~csr

all that is now.

i want…

   looking back.

though

   this steals…

       all that is now.  

~csr

firstly of yourself

may you work through things swiftly but more importantly, wholly and completely.  

 to me... It seems like it must all be sifted and weighed somehow before i can move past it... 

we are however armed with an armor that has been cast in years and forged in fires of heartache.  

we know this pain and therefore we know empathy.  

a gift not all possess

i will meet you in the place paved in pessimisms under foot... And lit by the candles of optimisms overhead... 

 be well

be forgiving firstly of yourself

~csr

finding my might

arduous not cozy

winding not straight

changing not stable

an altering state

tough and not soothing

twisting not clear

metamorphic life-changing

zigzagging through fear

enduring the darkness,

resisting the light

embracing my weakness

and finding my might

~csr

flourishing

embracing 

  present moment, 

clarity stillness. 

facing obstinacy, 

  breathe, 

   pause, 

    listen. 

     seeking understanding, 

     a river flowing 

   around a rock. 

empathy  

   compassion, 

    creating 

harmonious exchange. 

word’s gentle breeze, 

  soft

non-confrontational. 

focus 

   issues, 

  not persons, 

   a gardener tending soil, 

  not leaf. 

dance of dialogue, 

  flexibility 

grace. 

embracing paradox 

  differing views, 

   humility 

    openness, 

     learning, 

  a student 

of the universe. 

conversations

  peaceful forest, 

   understanding

    growth 

flourishing.

~csr

being

stillness

 calm surface, 

reflecting 

 present

   without 

   distortion 

    reaction, 

revealing 

   beauty

'not being' in turmoil,

, 'not being' controlled,

, 'not being' defined 

inner peace, 

   liberation, 

    harmony 

arisen

 embracing 

simplicity

  being.

~csr

in the darkness

i feel like a crushed seed, 

   buried dark, deep in the Earth. 

    dry, hard, crusted over. 

yet

   down beneath, 

     there's a tiny spark of life 

      in my core. 

so i am pushing, 

   i’m trying. 

i’m trying to force life 

   to burst the shell and reach up, 

    out of the earth, to reach the air, 

     the sun, the sky, 

       the stars.

there’s more space in this universe 

   than substance, 

at least that we can see. 

and so… if 

   you're near some of that substance, 

    touch it, hold it, embrace it. 

Because it's just a flash of light Iin the darkness.

~csr

fragile way.

beauty lies beyond capture,

though we chase moments, freezing frames.

a brush can interpret, but not replace.

descriptions fall short, unable to evoke.

subjectivity filtered,

by experience and bias.

yet, with this interpretation, there is a beauty.

for in the brushstrokes, words, and frames,

an interpretation remains.

not ‘the truth’, yet a truth in its own,

fragile way.

~csr