Unseen

As I sit here, just moments after receiving the news that I've been ruled out for the position, I'm met with a mix of emotions. This was my one and only in-person interview in a year filled with countless returned resumes.

I've spent a lifetime trying to do the right thing, to care for others, to be considerate, and to give people what they need. But in doing so, I've come to realize that I don't fit in – precisely because I care.

I'm a creative soul, with a passion for poetry and music. I see patterns and connections where others may not. I ask questions, not just to seek answers, but to uncover better questions. And yet, despite my talents and abilities, I find myself feeling broken, like a puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit.

I'm 57 years old, and I'm tired of trying to force myself into spaces where I don't belong. I'm tired of being treated like a commodity, a means to an end, rather than a human being with thoughts, feelings, and desires. I'm tired of being expected to conform to a world that values productivity and efficiency above all else.

As I look around, I see people who seem to be getting ahead, who seem to be succeeding in this crazy game we call life. But they're not like me – they're the ones who plow through, who push aside obstacles, who prioritize their own needs above all else. And I'm left wondering, where do I fit in?

I know I'm not alone in this feeling. There are countless others out there who, like me, are searching for a sense of purpose, of meaning, of connection. We're the ones who care, who feel deeply, who see the world in all its complexity. And we're the ones who are often overlooked, undervalued, and marginalized.

But I refuse to give up. I refuse to lose sight of my own worth, my own value, my own unique perspective. I'll keep creating, keep writing, keep singing. I'll keep being me, no matter how broken, no matter how flawed.

Because in the end, it's not about fitting in or conforming to someone else's standards. It's about embracing our own uniqueness, our own humanity. It's about finding the courage to be ourselves, even when the world around us seems to be pushing us in the opposite direction.

Can't we all just get along?

After significant events, social media posts often emerge calling for unity, love, and healing. These posts usually urge people to "come together" or "find common ground." Although they seem well-intentioned, they can be problematic as they may overlook or minimize the concerns and experiences of marginalized communities.

These posts often lack acknowledgment of the legitimate concerns and fears of marginalized groups. They may also minimize systemic issues like racism, sexism, and homophobia by emphasizing individual actions. Additionally, they can ignore power imbalances and center privileged perspectives.

Examples of such posts include "Can't we all just get along?" or "Let's focus on what unites us." While these messages seem innocuous, they can be alienating for marginalized communities.

True unity requires acknowledging systemic injustices and listening to marginalized voices. It demands a willingness to confront complex issues and prioritize justice and equity. Calling for unity without addressing these issues can be harmful and ignore the needs of marginalized communities.

The posts often take the form of a call to action, urging people to "come together," "find common ground," or "love one another." While these sentiments may be well-intentioned, they can be problematic for several reasons:

1. Lack of acknowledgment: These posts may fail to acknowledge the legitimate concerns, fears, and anxieties of marginalized communities, who may feel threatened or vulnerable in the face of certain policies or events.

2. Minimizing systemic issues: By emphasizing individual actions, such as "loving our neighbor," these posts may downplay the role of systemic injustices, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia, which are often deeply ingrained in societal structures.

3. Ignoring power dynamics: These posts may overlook the significant power imbalances that exist between different social groups, which can affect the ability of marginalized communities to advocate for themselves and their interests.

4. Centering privileged perspectives: By prioritizing a message of unity and love, these posts may inadvertently center the perspectives and experiences of privileged individuals, rather than amplifying the voices and concerns of marginalized communities.

The Gravity of Power

In this thought-provoking exploration, we'll delve into the fascinating analogies between cosmic singularities, such as black holes, and the dynamics of power and control. By examining these connections, we'll gain a deeper understanding of the complex, often insidious nature of power and its far-reaching consequences.

Unpacking the Dynamics of Power and Control

As we explore the intricacies of human behavior, it's essential to acknowledge the complex power dynamics at play, particularly for marginalized groups who have been historically oppressed and silenced. A profound and nuanced insight emerges from this observation: those who appear powerful often are, in fact, deeply vulnerable and fearful.

Shared Characteristics: Singularity and Power Dynamics

1. Warped Space-Time: Cosmic singularities warp the fabric of space-time, creating intense gravitational fields. Similarly, power dynamics can warp our perceptions, creating distorted views of reality. Those in positions of power may use their influence to shape narratives, manipulate information, and create an uneven playing field.

2. Irreversibility: Once matter crosses the event horizon of a black hole, it's inevitably pulled towards the singularity, losing its individual identity. In power dynamics, the pursuit of power and control can lead to a loss of individual autonomy, as people become trapped in systems that perpetuate inequality and oppression.

3. Accretion and Accumulation: Singularities, like black holes, accumulate matter and energy, growing stronger and more massive over time. Similarly, those who seek power and control often accumulate wealth, influence, and resources, using these to further solidify their positions.

4. Gravitational Pull: Cosmic singularities exert an intense gravitational pull, warping the motion of nearby objects. In power dynamics, those in positions of power can exert a similar pull, shaping the actions and decisions of others through coercion, manipulation, or persuasion.

5. Information Paradox: The information paradox surrounding cosmic singularities questions what happens to information contained in matter that falls into a black hole. In power dynamics, a similar paradox exists: as those in power accumulate more control, they may become increasingly disconnected from the needs, concerns, and realities of those they govern.

Implications and Reflections

Exploring the analogies between cosmic singularities and power dynamics, we can gain a deeper understanding of the complex, often insidious nature of power and its far-reaching consequences. This analogy encourages us to consider the ways in which power can warp our perceptions, accumulate resources, and exert influence over others.

As we reflect on these connections, we may ask ourselves:

• How can we recognize and resist the warping effects of power dynamics on our perceptions and actions?

• In what ways can we work to dismantle systems of oppression and accumulation, promoting more equitable distributions of power and resources?

• How can we foster empathy, cooperation, and mutual understanding to counterbalance the gravitational pull of power and control?

By exploring these questions and reflections, we can continue to unravel the complexities of power dynamics and work towards creating a more just, compassionate, and equitable world.

In the context of cosmic singularities, such as black holes, the concept of counterbalancing is quite challenging. By definition, a singularity is a point of infinite density and zero volume, where the laws of physics as we know them break down.

In this sense, it's difficult to imagine what could counterbalance a singularity, as its gravitational pull is so intense that not even light can escape once it crosses the event horizon.

In the context of human experience, a singularity can be thought of as a point of overwhelming power, control, or influence. In this sense, what can counterbalance a singularity is not a physical force, but rather a collective, human-centered approach:

• Empathy and compassion: By acknowledging the humanity and vulnerabilities of those in positions of power, we can begin to counterbalance the effects of their influence.

• Diversity and inclusivity: Fostering diverse perspectives, experiences, and voices can help to distribute power more evenly, reducing the impact of any one individual or group.

• Collective action and solidarity: When individuals come together to support a common cause or challenge an oppressive system, they can create a counterbalancing force that resists the gravitational pull of power.

• Education, awareness, and critical thinking: By cultivating a deeper understanding of power dynamics, systemic injustices, and the complexities of human behavior, we can empower individuals to make informed decisions and challenge oppressive systems.

• Emotional intelligence and self-awareness: Developing emotional intelligence and self-awareness can help individuals recognize and resist the influence of those in positions of power, fostering a more balanced and equitable distribution of power.

These human-centered approaches can help counterbalance the effects of power and control, promoting a more just, compassionate, and equitable society.

I’m just out here in the cosmos asking questions

senses diminish

constant bombardment

malignant normality

senses diminish

 

~csr

abundant with hope

an end...

  a beginning

    lacking optimism.

a beginning...

  an end

    abundant with hope.

~csr

somehow (for Sharon)

somehow...

i knew and my heart sank

i did not permit hope,  

so i would be prepared,

equipped to prop her up when the words

would sweep her legs out  from under her.

and still somehow...

i was not equipped.

somehow...

we looked into their eyes, we smiled, we  held it back.

we hid it for now

and somehow...

they seemed not to know.

somehow...

we gathered them and our ourselves,

onto the floor and we spoke the news

unthinkable words impossible to speak.

somehow...

we spoke just the same.

somehow...

he opened up, he poured out, melted in her arms

and it flowed on and on

as we sat still and silent

and listened to it all.

and somehow...

somehow...

he said it all.

somehow...

i see her in their eyes.

i hear her in their voices, in their laughter, in their stories.

somehow...

she is there.

somehow...

~csr

Barb Vanaman

Sharon Parsons-Bortleʼs life came to a tragic end just as she was starting a new

life for herself and her children. Sharon always strived to have a positive

outlook on life and provide the best surrounding for her family. Regarless of the

life that surrounded her, Sharon always strived to do good in the community,

her job and especially with the ones she loved.

Born and raised in VIneland, Sharon used her degree in elementary education

to nurture and care for the children in the Vineland school system all of her

professional career. She touched many childrenʼs lives and made a difference in

more families that we will ever know.

Sharon’s Story

in orbit

we all have emptiness

and it wants...

mostly what we don't have...

destroying what we do.

even so

if we can perhaps

place it in the center...

if we can learn

to balance it in the middle...

     like an axis...

it's gravity can hold

   the rest of our being

   around it

        in orbit


~csr

A supermassive black hole is the largest type of black hole in a galaxy, on the order of hundreds of thousands to billions of solar masses. Most, and possibly all galaxies, including the Milky Way,^[2] are believed to contain supermassive black holes at their centers.^[3][4]
Supermassive black holes have properties which distinguish them from lower-mass classifications:

• The average density of a supermassive black hole (defined as the mass of the black hole divided by the volume within its Schwarzschild radius) can be as low as the density of water for very large mass black holes. This is because the Schwarzschild radius is directly proportional to mass, while density is inversely proportional to the volume. Since the volume of a spherical object (such as the event horizon of a non-rotating black hole) is directly proportional to the cube of the radius, and mass merely increases linearly, the volume increases by a much greater factor than the mass as a black hole grows. Thus, average density decreases for increasingly larger radii of black holes (due to volume increasing much faster than mass).
• The tidal forces in the vicinity of the event horizon are significantly weaker. Since the central singularity is so far away from the horizon, a hypothetical astronaut traveling towards the black hole center would not experience significant tidal force until very deep into the black hole.

audacity

who among us

   possessing hopefulness,

can ever be free of

   audacity?

~csr

the water-cooler

the watering-hole
knew not danger the likes of
the water-cooler

~csr

to your door

a cogent cerulean sky

the arraign of wind
   a smell of pine and cedar
      harangues my face
         and pulls on my heart
traversing past
   the sleepy water
    on the road to open meadows
      of emerald and gold
outlying silos
   set stoic
     amid crimson barns
and
in steady harmonization 
   of constant flow
     through the countryside
there is magnificence
   to be embraced
      in whichever open bearing
even so
stock-still
  my compass points
    to the overgrown
      and thorned path

         to your door

~csr

expressions

often
silence
embodies more
than a multitude
of expressions



~csr

the life we live

a withering rose,
the fragile and fleeting life,
is the life we live



~csr

beautiful flower

falling from the branch
at the mercy of the wind
beautiful flower


~csr

a bolt from the blue

where there is love
   there is pain
you cannot even hate
   without affection
so many perceptible reversals
i know your laughter
   and your tears
          the words you are about to speak
i see your resolve
    yet
       i  know you are weak
so  
   if i am there
      when i said i would not be
         is that such a bolt from the blue?

~csr

entirely intellectual

some things are too incredible to accept
that doesn’t make them any less real
some things are too good to be true
and it turns out we are right
now... how do we determine what is what?
i am not completely sure
but i know
 it isn’t entirely intellectual


~csr

filled with light

darkness

monsters

demons

what are they really?

things lurking in shadows

it's what we can't see that is fearsome

now and again we place things in shadowy seats

those things become larger than they truly are
there is no conflict amid light and dark

darkness has no option but to flee in the company of light

retreating behind obstacles

eliminate the obstacles

that harbor scary corners

become filled with light

~csr

woven for the weary

agent of doubt 

    colleague of my fear

you recognize my secret so well

    don't you?

what dealing do you have with me

    on this rainy day?

where light wears a veil

     and warmth evades me

bring your tidings

      to a different one

this image is not for you to paint

nor is it yours

       to fill in my blanks

you try my resolve

    use my own tongue

     to deceive myself

you inhabit the shadow's spread

    cast from petty facts

your skill is in embroidery

   and you knit misgivings

your designs are fitting

   woven for the weary

~csr

my return

relieving
an occasion to walk off
into smooth briny pools
sharp shimmering sunbeams
misty saline air

amusing
one hundred and thirty-five
includes the park and the rides
and yet this… just outside
so magnificent… and free of fee

enthralling
the clatter and screech
drowning in the breakers
the smell of six dollar hotdogs
carried away by the breeze

fulfilling  
how it stays… increases in me
like an expanding spume
filling the empty spaces
accompanying me on my return




~csr

twirling in my arms

silence is no more than

breathing space

amid resonance

as this dawdling waltz

a measure or two in length

moves steadily to a bow

forever will i cherish

the steps we took together

with you, twirling in my arms


~csr

until the sun falls from the sky

take a walk along the beach

that's were i'll be

down by the sea

here i am

i have my toes in the sand

ain't this grand

the waves they comfort me

the wind it sets me free

sailboats are passing by

just stare right off into the sky

now there you are

you are down the beach not very far

you hear my guitar

you come to me

you say "your song sounds very sweet"

i offer a seat

your eyes they comfort me

your voice it sets me free

the hours passing by

until the sun falls from the sky

~csr