by this sea

i want…
   looking back.
though
   this steals…
           all that is now. 

so long now…
      since you.
 heart cross-stretched…
    ocean wide dark-fathom. 

castigated.
indulging never…
    what was…
  in thin-hope
     for what might be. 

now
    you travel by
       shores erode-worn…
      and
        swept to shadow-depth.

knowing
      where there is no wood
      the flame dies.
          why i am here
         building campfires
     by this sea?


~csr

love you more

something 
    you whispered…
never said… 
   quite that way.
touched my heart…    
   like never before.
amazed to find
    i could love you…
      more.

~csr

 

Trim The Time

sitting in the shade
the mowers are cutting grass
our  words trim the time

~csr

into your eyes

every fear

my greatest joy
the light that blinds my eyes
the darkness i have known
the hunger i have had
the satisfaction i have found
my pride and my courage
my disgrace and my failings
all disappears...
   when i look...

       into your eyes

~csr

you always will

fear and hope
   are deep-rooted
     in preservation of self...
love and hate
   are in fact action
       not sentiment...
hold in your arms
    what is before you...
reaching for what is not
     will only tear you apart...
struggling only serves
     to help you descend...
what will you do
     when you go under?...
        who will draw you out?...
they fear of falling
    with you...
only in stillness
     may you escape...
do nothing
    accomplish everything...
let go
    you will posses it all...
discontinue your never-ending search....
      you already have it all...
             you always did...
                  you always will

~csr

adieu

 

 

thinking about it all

 zinging by

    at light speed.

so many times

   wanting to stay...

      right there...

  in that place...

    forever.

how

seeing this

  makes me wonder

  what really

  has been learned

  of life.

that

   love has a shelf-life...

      and must be eaten

    while it is ripe.

and

  when we say

this can wait...

  we really mean...

     adieu.

 

~csr

 

 

 

into your eyes

every fear

my greatest joy
the light that blinds my eyes
the darkness i have known
the hunger i have had
the satisfaction i have found
my pride and my courage
my disgrace and my failings
all disappears...
   when i look...

       into your eyes

~csr

you always will

fear and hope   are deep-rooted      in preservation of self...love and hate    are in fact action
       not sentiment...hold in your arms     what is before you...reaching for what is not     will only tear you apart...struggling only serves      to help you descend...what will you do      when you go under?...        who will draw you out?...they fear of falling     with you...only in stillness      may you escape...do nothing     accomplish everything...let go     you will posses it all...discontinue your never-ending search....      you already have it all...             you always did...                  you always will

~csr

the valley of id

restrained color...
   mantles the sky.

amorous twist ...
    drifts across my visage.

depth of a thousand fathoms...
      in my gaze.

notions echoing...
    in this vast grotto.

infiltrated by veracity...
    the chimera dissipates.

emotional deluge..
    falling and rising.

anticipation... ... ...
    generously surrenders to sorrow.

belated sagacity ...
    strolls in with a leer .

rationale...
    awakened by it's mirth .

effusive blush...
    pursues understanding.

ascending mt.  ego...
  from the valley of id.

~csr

with us

here i go all over again...

 keen on the unchanged pattern.

not fulfilled with the conclusion...

 of preceding encounter.

still looking for an ambiguity...

 that will amend it all.

how can you let go...

 when you never had a hold...

 of things to begin with?

was it existent...

 or merely a reverie?

can i embrace nothing?

i am so vacant...

 when you are not near.

can't we rip this curtain in two?!

or am i only fooling myself...

 with stage show?

is this a histrionic display of desperation?!

i question the soundness...

 of something so timid.

is love not bold and brave to prevail?!

maybe the enemy is my own timetables?

thinking i should have everything just so?

maybe the bravery comes in the waiting!

a willingness to just see where it goes.

then...

as if i hear a sweet wisper...

a gentle voice...

 that speaks in my ear.

let it be what it is...

 and let it go where it will...

time will share it's wisdom...

 with us.




~csr

yes

some questions...

 we ask…

    simply to hear

     the sound

         of the  words

       in the air…

 and imagine

    the hope... of

       yes



~csr

when i am done

do i actually hunger ...

           for the appreciation?

can that be

     what this is all about…

            or at least

            more than i had

            originally considered? 

perhaps

i never did consider…

after all…       

         it takes something

        of a harbinger

         for me to dive

        that deep

         into introspection.    

still

i cannot help but wonder

      why it feels

       so different now.

      what could be

       the problem?...

and so

i question it all…

        the motivation…

         the drama…

         the need…

         and i worry…

what will be left of me…

    when i am done?

~csr

yet again

the old wound

while not evident...

never fully healed.

requiring  barely

a trifling change in weather…

to bring pain…

yet again.


~csr

with you

 i am

fighting for breath

  on tenterhooks

     amid this dearth

lugging the coffer 

   that quarters 

        my heavy heart...

   the tang of stillness...

    like the

  acidic duplicity intensifying

       eating away 

   steadily dissolving my spirit...

  i cry out! r

   from the darkness...

      not to be liberated!

         to be fulfilled...

                to solidify...

            this wraithlike relation

     we share...

  what can pain

   with it's devices

       do to keep me

            from you?

as i understand

    the pain

   of becoming

is paled

       only by the joy

     of being...

              with you.

  

~cs

our breach

my musing of you...

    a view through rose-tinted spectacles 

always,

   in golden and emerald-glow .

the wound from a nameless battle concealed

      and the voices of ten thousand spirits

           echoing inside you.

while ringing of burly dreams

         penetrate your consciousness

               like tunable tinnitus. ..

               a sea of crickets in your ear.

          yet at times…
          if you choose...

               you decide which ones to listen to.

and i feel you now and again

       in my own dreams.

            your breath in my ear, on my neck...

           your parched lips ...

              dampened by soft words spoken

                   in gentle morning whisper...

                   the way restless waves caress dark shores.

hushed lightning sparks across a turbulent sky!

                   as silent longings arc betwixt...
                           our breach  . . .

~csr

 

a tasty dish

mighty general
tso tsung-t'ang lives on today
as a tasty dish!

~csr

a tasty dish

mighty general
tso tsung-t'ang lives on today
as a tasty dish!

~csr

only you and i

in spite of the reason

   for the call

       your problematic struggle

              with your evil twin

it was rather natural

       talking with you

and for a moment in time

        we enjoy

               once more

       the bond we share

not aware of history

       nor expectations

not dissecting

       every word

              each intonation

 i can tell you

       with genuineness

in those inestimable moments

     there was only

              you and i 

~csr

borrowed

SASKIA OZOLS EUBANKS  

i was rich today
had it all for an hour
it was all borrowed

~csr



felt this way

all this time you felt this way
yearning to have me by
living in your garden in spring
making snowmen when the snow came
so close yet so distant from me
how was it sung?
a breathe between us could be a thousand miles
all the contacts of glances and words
desire veiled and intentions obscured
they did not emerge in the course of your words
seasons transform and bells ring
and just when the dream started to lose color
i have the daring to approach you and say
all this time i felt this way

~csr