i do

 i held them off
    as long as i could.
 each one approached
    but did not pass.
 one by one...
    then another.
 surrounding the borders
     but not beyond.
 rising and reseeding
    again and again.
 and when i had won...
    my silent
       emotionless
           victory...
    i did not celebrate.
 no remembrance...
    no parade...
       no feast was held.
 only an empty silence.
and on we went
    to the next nominal thing.
   

however 
 now they have returned
     once again.
 oh how they have collected.
      my every emotion...
      my every thought...
      my every last feeling...
        gathering as one.
 they rise against me...
    finding sympathy in every cause.
 using all at their disposal to move me.
 and as they escape...
     my eyes are red
     and my nostrils close...
     and my breath is tight.
 shivering...
    shaking...
        whimpering....
             i submit.
  
oh how i miss you.
 oh how i do.

~csr